


Heartbeat

by autumnsolstice9



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, hinata centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-21 02:47:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16150943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnsolstice9/pseuds/autumnsolstice9
Summary: She is 12 when her heart stops beating.Or, how Hinata finds people to love and to love her.





	Heartbeat

She is 12 when her heart stops beating.

Blood flows from her mouth, her vision is blurring in and out, and she knows it’s only a matter of time before her heart clenches and stops the blood in her body. Her hands are shaking, and she can hear Naruto’s indignant shouts in the background, but her eyes are only on Neji.

He looks at her, as cold as usual, and Hinata wants to cry. She is terrified of him- he, who would hurt his own cousin, who would face the effects of the cursed seal if it meant killing her, who looks at her like she is _nothing_. It brings tears to her eyes; her own cousin hates her, hates her because of her position in a clan which has no love for her.

She feels more blood slipping out of her mouth, falling in little drops to the floor, and wonders what will happen to her once her heart stops. Who will visit her hospital room? Who will help her recover?

Who will care?

Her eyes give a sweep across the room before landing on Shino, who has his hands clenched on the railing in front of him. His brow is furrowed, and there is a distant hum of kikaichu roaming through his body. To her side, she feels Kurenai place a hand on her, and she shifts her gaze to her sensei, surprised to see her eyes ablaze.

She feels Neji’s stare on her, and she looks at him. The Hyuuga prodigy, the one who is everything she is not. 

Her heart gives a fateful lurch, and she collapses with only one thought in mind: _this is the power of Hyuuga._

***

She wakes to an empty room, the crisp scent of sanitizer clinging to the air. There is the faint sound of footsteps shuffling in the hall outside her room, but other than that and the heart monitor beeping next to her, there is nothing.

Her chest aches and her arm is heavy as she reaches up to massage it gently. Hinata takes a peek down her shirt and notices the angry scar tissue there, puckered and red as if she was burned.

The click of the door opening has her full attention, and into the room walks her father with Hanabi. Hyuuga Hiashi stands tall and proud, his brow stern and his face impassive. Standing next to him, Hanabi’s eyes light up gently at the sight of her sister and she has a gap toothed grin on her face.

Hinata gives her sister a small smile before bowing her head to her father, her cheeks already burning in shame.

“Hanabi, leave us.” her father demands, voice icy. Hinata does not look up from the bed, her hands folded in her lap, until she hears the door close and Hanabi’s footsteps fade.

Her father’s face is like ice. “Hinata,” he begins, and she feels her chest tighten again, hears the heart monitor pick up as she takes in his crossed arms, his pinched brows and the angry frown on his face. “You have shamed us. While there was little chance of you beating Neji, your defeat is still marked with shame. We are the main house, we need to be strong. To end up in the hospital is pitiful. Hanabi could have fought with more dignity than you displayed. As it is, you are to return to a strict Hyuuga training regimen once you are released from the hospital. You will perform to the best of your abilities and you _will_ improve. There will be no excuses. That is all.”

With that, her father gracefully turned around and headed towards the door. Placing his hand on the doorknob, he threw a stern glance over his shoulder. “Do not disappoint me again,” and then he was gone.

The heart monitor did not slow down until minutes later when Kurenai entered the room with Kiba and Shino.

“Hinata, you’re awake,” her sensei breathed out, heading to Hinata and grabbing on to one of her hands. “We’re so happy to see you alive and well. You gave us a big scare there.”

“I’m sorry to have worried you,” Hinata squeaked out. All eyes were on her, and her skin felt like it was crawling with all the attention. Were they going to mock her, tell her that she disgraced their team?

Shino, quiet, strong Shino, must have sensed her discomfort as he spoke up. “I am glad to see you Hinata, though I expected you and Kiba both to move on to the next round.” Hinata could feel her cheeks heat up in embarrassment, and Kiba gave Shino a slight shove as he realized how his words came across. 

Hinata didn’t blame him. Just as she was an anxious mess, Shino was a blunt one. “Congratulations on your success, Shino-kun. I hope to one day be as strong as you.”

At that, Kiba jumped forward, a grin on his face. “Then let’s do it! You’re strong Hinata! Shikamaru told me about your fight. He said you wouldn’t back down! We’ll train every day until we’re the strongest team in Konoha!”

Shino nodded and Kurenai grinned and something inside Hinata’s chest swelled, but it did not hurt. “I would like that, Kiba-kun. Thank you.”

Kiba shot her a smile, and he and Shino moved forward to rest on the bed. Kiba to her right, Shino to her left, Kurenai standing in the front. For the first time since the chunin exams began, Hinata felt at peace.

After what felt like only minutes of listening to Kiba chatter on about what was happening in the village, the sun began to set. “Come on, kiddos, we can see Hinata again tomorrow. Your parents are going to want you home for dinner.” Kurenai told them, placing gentle hands into their hair and mussing it up. 

At the mention of food, Kiba shot up from where he was sitting on Hinata’s bed and Akamaru yipped gleefully. He turned towards Hinata, grabbing her hand and Shino, who was much less physical, gently leaned closer to her. “Hinata,” Kiba said, his voice uncharacteristically serious, “I’m glad you’re okay, but you shouldn’t have fought Neji. He almost killed you. They had to clean your blood out of the arena. You’re our teammate. Don’t put yourself purposely into harm's way. And if you do, do it when Shino and I are there! We’ll back you up! Right, Shino?” At this, the bug user gave a sharp nod. “Point is, Hinata, some fights you don’t have to fight alone. Neji is one of those. Naruto’s going to beat the crap out of him, but if he’s still bothering you, if he even looks at you funny, you let us know, okay? We were worried. We don’t want to lose you.”

Hinata turned her hand so she could grip Kiba’s tighter and sent some warm chakra to where Shino leaned against her. A small smile worked its way onto her face, and once again her chest felt the pressure of something she could not name. “I will. T-thank you both.”

Kiba gave her a smile, Akamaru licked her cheek, and the kikaichu clicked happily from somewhere on Shino’s body, and then the room emptied to just her and Kurenai.

“Now,” her sensei began, “let’s talk about your father. You don’t have to tell me what he said to you when he visited earlier, but if you ever, and I mean ever, need a place to stay, even if just for a few minutes, don’t hesitate to come to my apartment.”

Kurenai moved closer until she was sitting next to Hinata, a callused hand resting on her shoulder. The tears finally spilled as Hinata clutched on to her bed sheet, recalling her father’s words to her. “He- he- he told me I brought s-s-shame to the m-m-main house. I-I h-have to start t-t-training with my clan again. I-if I don’t, I m-m-might l-lose my inheritance.”

Her sensei’s face was dark for a moment before a calming smile replaced tight lips. “Hinata, there’s a village full of people out there who will love you. Kiba loves you. Shino loves you. I love you. Now get some rest.” With that, she kissed Hinata’s brow and left the room with a parting smile.

Hinata’s heart still beat weird in her chest, and due to her injuries probably always would, but it didn’t hurt as much.

***

She watches Neji fight Naruto. She watches and panics and watches as she coughs up blood.

“Hinata!” Kiba shouts, “Hinata are you okay?”

She wants to say that she isn’t, that she’s worried she may never be okay again, that she’s scared her injuries will keep her from being a shinobi, but she can’t. Blood keeps pouring from her mouth while Kiba and Akamaru watch her with fear on their faces.

“Help!” Kiba shouts, cradling her close to him. 

Hinata can see her father and Hanabi from here. They’re not too far away, and she wants to tell Kiba to bring her over to her father, that he will help them. Just as she opens her mouth to do so, she makes eye contact with her father, and watches as he looks at her, at the blood on her jacket and face, and looks away.

“Kurenai-sensei will know what to do,” she rasps out, quickly averting her eyes from where her father sits.

“Right, right, first let’s get you to that ANBU up there, they should be able to heal you.”

She tries to look up to where he’s taking her, but she can’t. As she loses consciousness, she hopes that Kiba gets their sensei.

***

She wakes up to a woman she’s never seen before leaning over her. Hinata lets out a small squeak, and the woman looks up at her. “So you’re awake! You had a lot of damage done to during the exams, didn’t you? Well don’t worry! You’re fixed now! Your heart might have a few misplaced beats but you’ll be fine. You’re good to leave in a couple hours, but you have to take it easy, okay?”

Hinata stares. The woman had been talking so fast and it was hard to keep up. Misplaced beats? Leave today? What was happening?

“Ah, sorry, but who are you?” she asked, pressing her two fingers together.

“I’m the Hokage! Tsunade!” the woman bellowed, and Hinata was immediately taken aback. Hokage? What happened to the third?

Her confusion must have read on her face, because Tsunade gave her a tiny pat on the head. “Lots has happened since you went out, kiddo. Konoha has had a lot of… changes.”

She didn’t know what that meant. She just wants her sensei and her sister and her team.

The new Hokage leaves, and Hinata is left alone in her room. There is no Kurenai, no Kiba, no Shino, but there are flowers in a vase with some clicking kikaichu, a drawing of Akamaru saying “get well soon” placed next to it.

She doesn’t feel quite so lonely anymore.

When Hinata leaves the hospital, her father is not waiting outside for her. She walks to the compound alone, and when she finds him in his study, she knocks lightly on the door.

“Father,” she begins, giving as best a bow as she can when her body still aches, “I have been released from the hospital.”

He doesn’t glance up from his paperwork. “Good,” he says, cold as ever, “you will resume your training tomorrow morning.”

Her breath catches in her throat. “Ah, I was t-told I still need to rest…”

At this, he looks up. “I am your father. You will return to training in the morning. You have disappointed me enough, Hinata. Don’t disappoint me further.”

His eyes are like knives, his face stern and icy. Hinata can’t help but look away and swallow the lump in her throat. “Yes, father. I’m sorry to have questioned you.”

“I will not tolerate any more failure from you. You are dismissed.”

Her chest feels tight as she walks away, acutely aware of how her heart skips a beat. She wants her team. She wants her sensei.

She wants her mother.

In the morning, she wakes up for training with her father. Hinata says nothing when he hits her a little too hard, pushes her a bit too far. She’s twelve and she’s tired and she hurts.

Later on, when she can taste the tang of blood in her mouth and coughs wrack her body, she stumbles through the village until she finds the nice, new Hokage who healed her before. The lady looks scary, with her fierce eyes and sharp voice, but Hinata can feel her chest throbbing in a way she knows it shouldn’t, so she approaches.

“I’m sorry, Hokage-sama,” she says, voice barely a whisper, “but may you help me?”

Hinata thinks it says something to her condition that she doesn’t notice Naruto standing near the Hokage, or the man with the spiky white hair, or the previously comatose Kakashi-sensei. All she can see is Tsunade, who looks even angrier than she did before when she looks down at Hinata, who begins to back away. “I’m sorry,” she stammers out, “I’ll leave, I’m sorry to bother you-” a cough ripples through her, and when she moves her hand away from her mouth it is stained red with blood.

Tsunade’s face morphs into something soft as she carefully reaches to hold Hinata’s hand. “Yeah, I can help you. I’ll always help you.”

The green glow of Tsunade’s healing chakra on Hinata is warmer than anything she can remember, and she’s crying but she’s not quite sure why. When Tsunade pulls away, she places a kiss on Hinata’s forehead. “Now,” the Hokage says, “let’s bring you home.”

“No,” Hinata quickly says, louder than she’s ever been, her grip on Tsunade’s hand tightening, “no, I don’t want to go home.” She doesn’t want to be with her father, who will keep training her until she is bleeding and broken, or with Neji, who almost killed her. She sees Tsunade frown, and has a moment of panic that she’s going to have to go home. 

For the first time, she takes note of the people surrounding the Hokage. “Please,” she says, quickly glancing at Kakashi-sensei before looking towards the ground, “I want to go to Kurenai-sensei.”

When she looks back up, Tsunade still has a frown on her face and seems to be having a silent conversation with the spiky-hair man. She doesn’t want to go back to the compound, can’t go back, not today. She desperately makes eye contact with Kakashi, whose one visible eyebrow is furrowed. “Come on, Hinata,” he finally says, “I’ll take you to Kurenai.”

She can feel the tears threatening to spill in her eyes. “Thank you,” she gasps out, “thank you.”

The gaze of the Hokage is heavy on her back until they are out of sight. “Thank you, Kakashi-sensei,” she says again, eyes focused on the ground as she follows the copy-nin to where Kurenai must be.

He doesn’t answer until they are outside Kurenai’s apartment, where he exchanges brisk words with her sensei. “Hinata,” he calls out once she is safely inside the apartment, “the Hatake compound is always in need of visitors. Don’t hesitate to stop by.” And with that, he is gone is a swirl of leaves.

Kurenai wraps her in a blanket and holds her close. “I have a spare room, you’re staying here tonight.” With a wink, she adds, “I’ve told your father we’re having an overnight training session. Now, what movie should we watch?”

Her body relaxes, and suddenly she doesn’t feel as anxious. She curls further into the blanket and leans on her sensei’s arm. Once they pick a movie, Hinata closes her eyes and drifts away to sleep. Her heart skips a beat, and it feels weird, but she doesn’t hurt.

She misses her mother.

***

They are on a mission to retrieve a scroll when they run into missing-nin. It’s something that has happened to every other genin team, it was bound to happen to them.

Hinata works with Kiba and Shino like a well-oiled machine, all due to their dedicated training. She can hear Kiba’s snarls, Shino’s kikaichu, feel the subtle pull of chakra as Kurenai works a genjutsu over one of the nin.

The fight is tense, and they are most definitely the weaker team, but they’re shinobi and they have a mission. They will get the scroll back to Konoha. Hinata keeps her focus on the nin in front of her, her palms striking fast and almost accurate. The kunai in the missing-nin’s hand is almost as fast, and Hinata quickly jumps out of the way.

As she moves away from the kunai, a fist comes flying towards her, and she might be able to escape if she is fast enough.

She is not Neji, she is not her father, she is a failure and she is not fast enough. The fist hits her chest, and she is thrown back. Hinata feels like she is back in the chunin exam arena, Neji’s palms aiming to kill.

_Who will care?_

__She rolls onto her feet and shakily stands back up. She will keep fighting, she will keep strong for Konoha, for her village and for her people. She will be fierce like Naruto._ _

__The missing-nin approaches, deadly glint in their eye. Hinata gets back into her stance and ignores the heavy thump of her heart in her chest. She is outmatched, just like she was with Neji. _Maybe_ , she thinks, _this nin will finish what Neji started.__ _

__She begins to move forward, ready for what will come next, taking a moment to close her eyes and reactivate her byakugan._ _

__When she reopens her eyes, Kiba and Shino are standing next to her. Akamaru grows viciously and the kikaichu are humming violently._ _

__“Are you okay?” Shino asks, level-headed as always. She gives a sharp nod of her head, reforming her stance. “Good,” he mutters, before focusing his attention on the missing-nin again. “We don’t take kindly to those who hurt our team.”_ _

__“Yeah,” Kiba growls out. “If you hurt Hinata, you hurt us. And we’re not letting that happen.” Giving a nod to her and Shino, he cracks his knuckles. “Ready, guys?”_ _

__“Ready,” she breathes out._ _

__The move forward as a unit. Within minutes, the nin is dead at their feet and Kurenai is checking the bodies of the others. The smiles her team share are sharp and full of teeth, but they are ninja, and this is their world._ _

__“Glad you’re okay, Hinata. We were worried when you got thrown back there.” Kiba says with a smile._ _

__“Yes,” Shino says, voice tinged with concern, “it felt like I was watching you fight Neji all over again.” His kikaichu buzzed with anger, and Hinata felt her heart soar. “We could not help you then. We will always help you now. Why? Because you’re out teammate.”_ _

__“Come on, man, you can say it!” Kiba teased, “We love you a lot, Hinata.” Shino gave a tiny nod, and Hinata felt a blush form on her cheeks._ _

__“Ah, well, I love you both, too.”_ _

__“And I love you all the most!” Kurenai announced as she approached them. “Now, come on, let’s get back home.”_ _

__So they were off, jumping through the trees, her team comforting presences around her. Her legs took powerful leaps, and she moved forward with one thought in mind: _this is the power of love._ _ _

__

__

__***_ _

__Hinata turns 13 on a snowy afternoon. Her father spares her a nod when he sees her for another rigorous morning training. Ever since the day she went to Tsunade, he did not hit her harder than necessary, and Hinata is eternally thankful to the Hokage._ _

__After training with her father, she meets her team at one of the training fields._ _

__“Happy birthday, Hinata!” Kiba cheers, and Shino even raises his voice a little for her. Kurenai pulls a gift from behind her and they begin to wander through the town._ _

__“Thank you,” she tells her team, beaming a smile at them._ _

__She doesn’t even need to open the present to know she will love it. She loves her team, loves her sensei, loves everything and anything they do._ _

__She is 13 and her heart is still beating._ _

___This will be a good year_ , she tells herself, _I believe it.__ _

**Author's Note:**

> hiashi die challenge


End file.
